MEET PETAL / THE INVENTORY
Earn your place
I bring things. Petal decides whether they deserve to stay.
Last inspection · October 2026
01
32kg Kettlebell
32 kg. One job: make Thomas stronger.
“He lifts it. I transport it across Europe.”
UNDER REVIEW
02
Surfskate
Surf training, without requiring an actual sea.
“Apparently the surfboard needed homework.”
UNDER REVIEW
03
6 pairs of shoes
Running, training, walking, driving, beach. Apparently these are different jobs.
“Six pairs. Two feet. I checked twice.”
EXPLAIN YOURSELF
04
Mustard Bucket
A Hachiman bucket selected after an entirely proportionate amount of research.
it’s “design” darling, design
APPROVED
05
Gymnastic rings
Hang almost anywhere. Take up almost no room.
“Annoyingly efficient.”
APPROVED
06
Airfryer
Small appliance. Disproportionate contribution to morale.
“Finally. Someone here with one clear job.”
APPROVED
07
Microphone
Podcast, voice-over and another reason to ask everyone to be quiet.
“There was already talking. Now it has equipment.”
UNDER REVIEW
08
Toolbox
Something always needs tightening, fixing or changing.
“Approved. Supervision remains mandatory.”
APPROVED
UNDER CONSTANT REVIEW
And then there’s Thomas.
Requires regular feeding. Creates most of the work and problems. Still occasionally useful.
“We’re keeping him.”
PERMANENT RESIDENT
Inventory remains open. New arrivals and revised verdicts will appear here.